Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com ([syndicated profile] notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-10-17 07:00 pm

Minds Too Narrow For Broad Shoulders

Posted by Not Always Right

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Me: "She thinks I'm transgendered."
Manager: "Oh! Well, madam, that's not the case here."
Customer: "But it's so obvious!"
Me: "Madam, please just stop."
Customer: "Well then, maybe you have some kind of condition, like you have too much male DNA in your system! Have you ever had a test done to see if you're a man?"

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I Can Has Cheezburger? ([syndicated profile] icanhascheezburger_feed) wrote2025-10-17 11:00 am

Wife abruptly divorces husband when he declaws her precious cat, Scribbles, without her permission a

Posted by Briana Viser

Pets are sometimes are best friends and biggest allies. While people in our lives can give us great love, they can also give us great pain. A dog will never lie to you, a cat will never break your heart. The story here is about a cat putting a wedge between a married couple. How could someone choose a feline over her husband, you may ask. But all's fair in love and…love. So in this story, the protagonist says she's had her cat, Scribbles, for over 10 years. Scribbles has been through it all with her, and their love and connection goes deep. Scribbles, like many cats, has a bit of a scratching problem. My cat has the same, but I figure I will let him just scratch and not buy expensive furniture for now. 

The problem is that her husband did buy very expensive furniture. He bought an expensive video game chair, and lo and behold, Scribbles scratches the chair. He decides to take matters into his own hands without speaking to her first, so read the full story below to understand why he did what he did, and what his wife did about it. 

Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com ([syndicated profile] notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-10-17 05:55 pm

You Can Count Me Out

Posted by Not Always Right

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Two months in, I learned I was pregnant, so I started having doctor's appointments, and my kid was having issues in school, so my phone was constantly going off. No big deal. My parts processed numbers were still above average, and I did three of the four parts runs plus hot parts (emergency parts) runs in the middle of processing two hundred parts a week. But a coworker of mine was not happy I was on my phone and reported me to our managers.

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I Can Has Cheezburger? ([syndicated profile] icanhascheezburger_feed) wrote2025-10-17 10:00 am

23 Funny Feline Photos fur Cat Lovers Battling Boardroom Boredom

Posted by Laurent Shinar

Meow, meow it is Furiday and that means the weekend and Caturday are just around the corner. And while that sweet free time is singing its song making us all feel that little bit more excited for its coming, the work week that has passed so far is also weighing down upon us. Which is what makes those moments of boredom so unbearable at this point in the week, because we are already so burnt out. So we took a moment to confer with the cat council, and the decision was made that you hoomans deserve a collection of funny feline photos to help battle your boardroom induced boredom.

So put your feet up, grab a nice cup of tea, and settle into this silly and sweet feline treat, and watch your boredom blow away. And if you want even more catto comedy, then check out these silly cat children.
 

Is your inbox feline too professional? Add some cats falling off counters. Subscribe here!

I Can Has Cheezburger? ([syndicated profile] icanhascheezburger_feed) wrote2025-10-17 09:00 am

‘He loves to headbutt, loves to be in laps, and is honestly pretty healthy.’: A gentle, neglected se

Posted by Laurent Shinar

Senior cattos can only really be of two sorts, extra salty or extra sweet. Because after a feline lifetime's worth of living, the only thing our cute cat children become is more extreme in their world views. Meaning that if they were treated well and loved by their pawrents as they so deserved, they will usually end up cuddly and comforting. While, if they we not treated so nicely, or they simply grew up despising the world around them, then they would be very likely to turn into grouchy grump machines who cannot even bare to look a stupid hooman in the eyes.

Thankfully, our rescued buddy in this story is of the former kind of catto, and his rescuers turned out to be some of the most thoughtful that we have come across in a long time. Deciding to give their elder feline the home he deserved rather than keeping him with them for his sweet and cuddly nature.
 

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Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com ([syndicated profile] notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-10-17 05:45 pm

A Full Tank Of Hot Air

Posted by Not Always Right

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Guest: "Our golf cart is dying. Can you give us a new one while this one recharges?"
Me: "I'll just fill up the tank right away for you, and you can be on your way in just a minute."
Guest: "Well, dear, that won't work. You see, golf carts don't use gasoline. They're electric and need to be charged. They have batteries, and—"

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Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com ([syndicated profile] notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-10-17 05:00 pm

Formula Two

Posted by Not Always Right

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I'm buying some clothes and, as I approach the counter, I see no less than three signs all saying the same thing, in all caps:
Sign: "WE DO NOT ACCEPT RETURNS ON UNDERWEAR."

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I Can Has Cheezburger? ([syndicated profile] icanhascheezburger_feed) wrote2025-10-17 08:00 am

20 Funniest Lol-Worthy Cat Memes of the Week From Your 'I Can Has Cheezburger' Feline Family (Octobe

Posted by Blake Seidel

What a glorious meowrning, feline fam. We're happy to see you back here again, and if this is your furst time, welcome! You're here, reading this, because you're like us - you have a purrfectly unquenchable thirst for funny felines and meowrvelous memes. Not only that, you crave the finest and freshest memes on the interwebz. We're happy to be your purrvider for this silly service, and we hope that we see you next week, and the week after that, and many more Furidays so we can count you as a part of our online feline family.

Lolcats was one of the main meowvements that was a part of the birth of cat memes. They flooded the internet with pictures of cats with their iconically silly speech, and thus, cats began to take over our hearts and websites. Not many remember this time (for sure you do if you are a millenial or older), but the reason you get so many feline funnies on your feed today is because of those early Lolcats. 

We here at I Can Has Cheezburger try to keep them alive by featuring some homemade cat memes from our users. Their "Lols" are a part of our DNA, and we plan to give them the spotlight they deserve as long as they keep making them. Scroll down to see some of the best of the week, and if you want, you can make your own to be featured next week as well!

Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com ([syndicated profile] notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-10-17 04:00 pm

Projected Losses

Posted by Not Always Right

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Supervisor: "That f****** idiot [Employee] is on my project again. I’m not dealing with him. He’ll be gone day one."
Me: "Oh."
I emailed HR.

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I Can Has Cheezburger? ([syndicated profile] icanhascheezburger_feed) wrote2025-10-17 07:00 am

'Someone always comes to the rescue': Adorable blind cat loudly calls out whenever she needs help, a

Posted by Mariel Ruvinsky

One thing that we wish we could learn from cats is their ability to face literally any challenge. It doesn't matter what it is - whether it's an animal in their backyard that they have to stand up to or our laptops sitting in our cat's spot on our lap that they have to topple, they will face it. Even the biggest challenges, like being born different than other cats, doesn't stop them from living their lives to the fullest. Blind cats will go through life not knowing and not caring that they can't see, they will still cause chaos. Deaf cats will scream their little heads off to get attention without giving a heck about how loud they have to be. Cats born with three legs will still have top-speed zoomies in the middle of the night. 

And if they need help, our cats will make sure that they get it, no matter what they have to do. Like this cat. She needed help, so she screamed until she got it. It's that or maybe she just likes the attention, and this is her way of getting it. Either way, it works. 

Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com ([syndicated profile] notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-10-17 03:00 pm
Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com ([syndicated profile] notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-10-17 02:30 pm

Grandad Pulls Out All The Stops

Posted by Not Always Right

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At the time, my father drove a public service bus. On the particular day we went, he was doing the Cardiff run, so we timed our journey to get his bus. My son was most impressed to be riding Tad-cu's bus (Tad-cu is Welsh for grandfather). I was impressed because, as family members, we got to ride for free (drivers for that company got a couple of discretionary freebies a week).

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I Can Has Cheezburger? ([syndicated profile] icanhascheezburger_feed) wrote2025-10-17 06:00 am

Employee goes to work, sees someone throwing out kittens on their security camera, immediately jumps

Posted by Mariel Ruvinsky

Going to work, for most people, is often a boring endeavor. Even if you like your job, some days are simply too similar to others, and time seems to crawl by. That was not the case for the person in this story. She came into work as if it was any other day, ready for the boredom and simplicity of it all, only to have her life change entirely. Because in the middle of her workday, on the security cameras, she and another co-worker saw someone throwing kittens into the trash

What would you do if you saw something like this? We would probably do the same thing that she did, and go rescue those kittens, because this is something that we cannot stand for. There are so many better options than throwing a kitten away, so many other directions that you can take than leaving them defenseless and on their own in a world where they are so, so tiny. And then, we would go to the police with the footage, because justice has to be done. 

Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com ([syndicated profile] notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-10-17 01:30 pm

Meat The Truth

Posted by Not Always Right

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Me: "What's wrong? Why are you looking like I have two heads?"
Neighbor: "You just took that straight from the deer onto the grill! That's why!"
Me: "Well... yeah? You've had venison before and said you wanted some for dinner."
Neighbor: "But you didn't make it safe to eat!"

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Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com ([syndicated profile] notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-10-17 01:00 pm

Raisin Awareness, One Husband At A Time

Posted by Not Always Right

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Husband: "Isn't it funny how the pickles always look like mini cucumbers?"
Wife: "That's because they are cucumbers."
Husband: "What? No. They can't be. Pickles are pickles and cucumbers are cucumbers."
Wife: "Pickles are cucumbers that have been… well, pickled!"

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Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com ([syndicated profile] notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-10-17 12:45 pm

(no subject)

Posted by Not Always Right

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My family travels cross-country for a big family reunion when I’m in my mid-teens. The geographical split happened when my grandmother was a girl, so almost no one who stayed in the area is really familiar with any of her direct descendants. It should be noted that I bear a strong resemblance to my mother. […]

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Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com ([syndicated profile] notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-10-17 11:45 am

(no subject)

Posted by Not Always Right

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(Myself, my mother, grandmother, and other extended family are on vacation together. While watching television one night we hear that a certain star of a once popular show has died. This leads to the following conversation between me and my grandmother.) Grandmother: “It’s a shame to hear about that. But it’s a fact that we’re […]

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Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com ([syndicated profile] notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-10-17 11:00 am

The Tooth Hurts

Posted by Not Always Right

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Me: "Hello, thank you for calling—"
Caller: "—Hello, I am calling to complain. Your office provided dentures for my grandmother, and you charged her far too much for them!"
Me: "I’m sorry about that, but this isn't—"
Caller: "—But nothing!"

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